"The righteous man walks in his integrity; his children are blessed after him." Proverbs 20:7
I am here visiting Mom in California for a few weeks. Eric was sweet and patient enough to let me stay and really spend time with Mom. The verse above Mom gave me a few days ago-she found it in one of her Bible studies-and it was part of a devotion about the perfect father. The devotion shares a story about her father and that he isn't perfect, but he gave her a glimpse of our Heavenly Father. I was lucky and blessed to have a Dad who did give me a glimpse of my Heavenly Father. Dad taught me strong lessons in trusting in God, being obedient to God and the importance of serving in church. Of course, I have a lot to learn in these areas, but I have two foundational examples to grow from-Dad and Mom.
I went the other day to Dad's grave; I admit I don't like spending much time there. Mostly because I don't feel him there at all. I know Daddy is in Heaven, and I am able to have comfort and peace in that. But, I did bring Dad carnations-my favorite flower and the ones he would always take the time to send me.
It is hard being home without him here. Everywhere in this house reminds me of him. But that is also a comfort.
In a few months, it will be a whole year since Daddy died. I don't know how I feel about that. I struggle daily with it. And no, I don't agree with anyone that it gets easier. It does not; you just learn to adjust to a scar across your heart.
5 comments:
true that scar never goes away but the pain does decrease with each passing year. not a day goes by that i don't miss my dad, but i know that he is watching from above and see's all the moments i wish he was here in person to see and that brings me great comfort.
i know it's hard losing someone as amazing as your dad, they are true angels on earth. but know that he is never far from you.
as crazy as it sounds i still talk to my dad, and i have a journal that i write to him in. it helps me feel not so alone. i still get him birthday cards and flowers on his birthday as well. luckily troy doesn't think i am crazy hehe.
i know this doesn't help bring him back, but it helps me deal with the fact that he isn't down here with us anymore.
if you ever need to chat or just want a hug, i am always here for you!
give your mom a hug for me too!
have a wonderful time out there with her!!!!
xoxo
I was wondering if you were going to post anything about being home. I can't even imagine how hard it is to be without your Dad on Fathers Day or any other day. I wish I could be more comfort to you, but I am so glad you and your mom are getting to spend time together. It was great hanging out with you.
I was wondering if you were going to post anything about being home. I can't even imagine how hard it is to be without your Dad on Fathers Day or any other day. I wish I could be more comfort to you, but I am so glad you and your mom are getting to spend time together. It was great hanging out with you.
i know you miss him terribly, but it sounds as if you are starting to heal a bit. i don't think the pain is ever lessened with time. you're right: it's just the adjustment to the pain to make it bearable. i love you!
Jules- Beautiful post. I agree with the end where you say time doesn't help. Very true. Love you.
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